!M  Highest 


goes  to 


erusalem 


V 


Bein^thcDiary 
of  the  German 

Emperors 

Journey  to  the 

Holy  Land 


(, 


THE   VISIT   TO   THE    HAREM 
(Uniform  of  a   Lieutenant  Colonel  of  Eunuchs) 


The  All  Highest  Goes  to 
Jerusalem 


THF    ONE-MAN    BAND  OF   EITROPE 


The  All  Highest  Goes 
to  Jerusalem 

Being  the  Diary  of  the  German 

Emperor's  Journey  to  the  Holy 

Land 

TRANSLATED  FROM  TEE  FRENCH  BY 

Frank  A  hah  Dearborn 


New  York 
George  H.  Doran  Company 


COPYRIGHT,  1918,  BY 
GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 


PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  OF  AMERICA 


Introduction 


LE  RIRE  (The  Laugh)  of  Paris  is  to 
France  what  Punch  is  to  England 
and  Life  to  the  United  States.  Soon 
after  the  Emperor  of  Germany's  journey  to 
Constantinople  and  the  Holy  Land,  nearly 
twenty  years  ago,  the  whole  French  nation 
was  convulsed  over  an  issue  of  Le  Rire 
which  purported  to  reveal  the  private  travel 
notes  of  the  Kaiser  on  what  he  termed  his 
divine  mission.  The  explanations  upon  the 
title  page  of  Le  Rire,  as  originally  pub- 
lished, were  as  follows: 

TOUR  OF  WILLIAM  THE  II— 15 
DAYS  IN  TURKEY,  PALESTINE, 
JERUSALEM  AND  THE  HOLY 
LAND. 

In  view  of  the  demand  of  the  itinerary 
only  a  single  performance  will  be  given  in 
each  locality. 

Soldiers  will  be  admitted  for  half  price, 
THIS  NUMBER  IS  PROHIBITED 
IN  GERMANY. 

As  France  and  Germany  were  at  this  time 
theoretically  at  peace,  a  mild  attempt  was 

[vii] 


Introduction 


made  by  the  French  Government  to  sup- 
press the  issue;  but  every  one  secured  a 
copy  and  the  laugh  was  general  at  the 
Kaiser's  expense.  The  witty  author  wrote 
with  a  prophetic  vision.  He  might  well 
have  written  yesterday.  We  now  see  the 
fruits  of  His  Majesty's  intrigue  with  the 
Sultan  and  his  pompous  entrance  into  the 
Holy  Land.  The  taking  of  Jerusalem  by 
British  forces  has  a  significance  for  the 
Christian  world  which  can  hardly  be  over- 
estimated and  at  this  juncture  the  publica- 
tion of  this  shrewd  jest  would  seem  to  be 
particularly  opportune. 

In  these  times  of  stress,  a  little  relaxation 
may  not  be  amiss,  and  in  that  spirit,  this 
translation  of  he  Rire  is  published. 

Frank  Alvah  Dearborn. 


[villi 


The  All  Highest 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


The  One-Man  Band  of  Europe      Frontispiece 

PAGE 


The  Sultan's  March      . 

ix 

The  Departure     .... 

.       17 

In  Venice 

21 

In  the  Arms  of  Umberto 

.       25 

View  of  Constantinople 

.       29 

The  Quarry         .         .         •         . 

.      35 

Escort  of  Honor  .         .         .         .         , 

.      39 

A  Little  *Tork"  on  the  Side  . 

•      43 

The  Sleep  of  the  Virgin 

47 

At  the  Door  of  Saint-Sophia  . 

53 

Au  Revoir,  Sultan,  I  Shall  Return  With- 

out  Being  Invited  .         .          .          . 

57 

Lohengrin  Receiving  Mahomet's  Kiss     . 

6i 

The  Sermon  in  the  Desert    . 

65 

The  Cold  Bath  in  the  Jordan 

69 

Resurrection  of  the  Leper     . 

73 

The  Ascension      .         .         .         .         . 

77 

[xi] 

The  All  Highest 


PAGE 

Review  of  a  Monastery         .         .         .81 

These   Pests,    Reporters   and   Photogra- 
phers Are  Everywhere  ...       85 

*'As  It  Was  Very  Heavy,  They  Took 

Turns  in  Carrying  It''    ...       89 


[xil] 


The  All  Highest  Goes  to 
Jerusalem 


The  All  Highest  Goes  to 
Jerusalem 


LE  RIRE  offers  to  its  readers  to-day, 
the  impressions  of  this  trip  to  the 
Orient  of  Emperor  William  II; 
these  impressions  were  written  by  the  august 
traveller  himself.  This  is  how  we  procured 
them ;  the  Emperor  wrote  every  evening  the 
recital  of  the  day's  events  upon  the  leaves 
of  a  little  note  book  which  never  left  him. 
On  retiring  at  night  William  II  placed  this 
note  book  under  his  bolster;  on  rising  he 
placed  it  (the  note  book,  not  the  bolster,  let 
it  be  understood)  in  the  left  pocket  of  his 
coat. 

Wednesday,  at  the  moment  when  the 
Emperor  had  just  fallen  asleep  one  of  our 
men  stole  the  note  book  and  brought  it 
away.  In  less  time  than  it  takes  to  tell  it, 
we  photographed  the  written  pages  which 
we  here  transcribe;  and,  a  few  moments 
afterward,  the  secret  document  was  re- 
placed under  the  head  of  the  sleeping  Sov- 
ereign. One  sees  how  simple  it  was!  Only 
the  matter  had  to  be  thought  out. 

[13] 


The  All  Highest 


We  have  accomplished  the  greatest  stroke 
of  reporting  that  has  been  seen  for  a  long 
time.  We  add  to  the  secret  notes  of  His 
Majesty,  a  great  musical  composition  which 
he  composed  and  offered  to  the  Sultan,  as 
well  as  to  the  other  Sovereigns  of  Europe, 
besides  the  triumphal  march  that  he  wrote 
for  his  entrance  into  Jerusalem. 

October  75.  I  have  always  loved  to 
travel ;  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  one  is  an  Em- 
peror, it  teaches  you  many  things  of  which 
you  are  ignorant.  The  Orient  especially 
attracts  me  and  I  would  like  to  lead  there 
a  peaceful  crusade;  all  the  Sovereigns  of 
any  consequence  have  gone  there  from  their 
journey  into  Asia  Minor. 

It  is  not  that  I  profess  great  sympathy  for 
the  Christians  of  Syria.  I  hold  them,  if  I 
dare  to  say  so,  in  slight  esteem.  But  the 
mission  which  I  have  received  from  the 
King  of  Kings  leads  me  to  the  banks  of  the 
Jordan;  and  then  Pierre  Loti  asserts  that  it 
is  necessary  to  see  the  Jordan;  now  I  have 
confidence  in  Pierre  Loti  who  was  a  soldier. 

Only  I  am  not  used  to  travelling!  There 

[14] 


The  All  Highest 


are  lots  of  troublesome  preparations;  time- 
tables must  be  consulted  and  railroad  con- 
nections determined.  Hotel  rooms  must  be 
engaged,  commissioners,  carriages  and 
camels  secured;  too  many  complications! 
I  would  have  given  up  the  trip  if  I  had  not 
received  a  call  from  Mr.  Thomas  Cook,  a 
fine  man,  who,  like  all  the  English,  knows 
how  to  travel. 

Mr.  Cook  asked  me  for  an  audience  and 
said: 

^^Sire,  I  hear  that  Your  Majesty  is  embar- 
rassed?" 

"Sir,"  said  I  haughtily,  "the  Emperor  of 
Germany  is  never  embarrassed.  Neverthe- 
less continue." 

"You  would  like  to  go  to  Palestine?" 

"Certainly." 

"And  you  do  not  know  how  to  arrange 
it?" 

"True." 

"Very  well,  I,  Thomas  Cook,  will  take 
you  there — and  for  nothing!' 

Any  one  else  would  have  exclaimed.  I 
responded  only  with  a  smile.  "Mr.  Cook, 
what  do  you  take  for  your  nerve?" 

[15] 


The  All  Highest 


^^But — you  refuse?" 

^^Rather,  I  am  of  age;  no  one  puts  any- 
thing over  on  me.  You  are  going  to  offer 
tours  at  reduced  prices  and  you  will  take 
along  thousands  of  tourists  in  my  wake; 
that  will  bring  you  in  a  handsome  profit  in 
the  end.    Let  us  divide." 

"However,  Sire,  I  assure  you  that  I  shall 
lose  money.  .  .  ." 

"We  will  divide,  fifty-fifty,  or  nothing 
doing;  I  have  nickeled  spurs;  half  the 
amount  upon  leaving,  the  other  half  at 
Jerusalem.    What  do  you  say?" 

"Agreed." 

"And  this  arrangement  includes  my 
retinue  gratis.  In  fact,  you  charge  your- 
self with  everything!" 

Mr.  Cook  accepted;  a  few  days  later,  he 
issued  the  prospectuses,  quite  well  written; 
they  insisted  upon  my  divine  mission  and 
upon  the  mystic  character  of  the  tour  which 
would  take  me  into  the  most  celebrated 
places  in  Palestine;  they  ended  with  these 
words:  "Every  day  His  Majesty,  William 
II,  will  put  on  a  new  and  entirely  different 
costume.    The  accessories,  decorations,  etc. 

[16] 


THE  DEPARTURE 

(Uniform  of  Head  Conductor) 


The  All  Highest 


will  also  be  renewed  according  to  the  cir- 
cumstances." I  found  that  they  had  exag- 
gerated somewhat. 

October  IJ.  I  have  packed  my  trunks. 
I  am  ready. 

October  l8.  This  morning  an  employee 
of  the  Cook  firm  came  to  awaken  me.  I 
dressed  myself;  costume  very  simple  of 
Chief  Controller  of  railways;  they  led  me 
to  the  train  which  is  the  first  of  fifty  trains 
that  start  to-day  with  my  retinue  and  the 
tourists.  I  gave  the  signal  for  departure 
myself  by  blowing  into  a  little  order-trum- 
pet. The  train  starts.  I  climb  aboard  and 
install  myself  in  the  compartment  for  Sov- 
ereigns only. 

I  take  out  this  note  book  in  order  to  write 
my  impressions. 

What  do  I  feel? 

Nothing. 

October  IQ.  Arrived  at  Venice.  My 
cousin  Humbert  (Humberto)  was  waiting 
to  receive  me  as  I  passed  through  the  city. 

[19] 


The  All  Highest 


He  is  a  good  fellow  and  has  done  the  best 
he  could;  but  he  was  able  to  do  but  little. 
I  am  aware  that  he  is  short  and  I  shall  not 
prolong  my  sojourn  in  Venice. 

Besides  it  is  a  misunderstood  City;  there 
is  water  everywhere;  nothing  is  more  un- 
healthy; and  then  it  is  out  of  style. 

They  gave  me  a  ride  in  a  gondola.  I  was 
careful  to  change  to  a  uniform  of  Captain 
of  Gondoliers  in  order  not  to  be  noticed.  I 
observed  that  there  were  not  many  soldiers 
in  the  streets.  They  did  not  show  me  the 
barracks.  On  the  other  hand  there  are 
churches  en  masse.  The  food  is  not  good: 
nevertheless  the  confectionery  is  better. 

In  the  evening,  illuminations;  profusion 
of  lanterns — Venetian — naturally.  Still 
more  gondolas;  the  people  are  tiresome 
with  their  perpetual  boating;  and,  think  of 
mobolising  all  that  in  time  of  war!  Of 
course  there  was  music;  it  appeared  to  rain 
mandolins.  And  that  with  fire-works!  How 
much  better  it  would  be  to  keep  their  pow- 
der rather  than  to  fire  it  at  the  pigeons! 

I  slept  badly  on  the  train.  I  am  fatigued. 
I  should  like  to  return  to  the  Hohenzollern 

[20] 


^^  VENICE 
Uniform  of  Captain  of  Gondoliers) 


The  All  Highest 


which  is  at  anchor  within  sight  of  Venice. 
I  must  wait  until  all  is  finished.  Is  there 
nothing  else  to  visit?    No?    Goodnight! 

Humberto  kisses  me.  I  return  it,  and 
this  will  do  for  a  few  years.  When  they 
see  me  here  again,  it  will  be  hot. 

I  gain  the  Hohenzollern  and  they  raise 
the  anchor. 


October  20.     At  sea,  on  board  the 
yes,  I  have  already  said  that. 
What  do  I  feel? 
Always  nothing! 


This  absence  of  impressions  begins  to 
disturb  me. 

October  21.     I  am  not  well. 

October  22.  We  start  again  to  navigate 
the  Mediterranean!  I  have  been  sick  for 
two  days.  Day  before  yesterday  the  Cap- 
tain informed  me  that  we  should  pass 
within  sight  of  Greece. 

I  shall  not  land.  This  is  not  included  in 
the  itinerary. 

[23] 


The  All  Highest 


And  then,  I  do  not  know  how  I  should 
be  received. 

Furthermore,  Mr.  Cook  says  there  is 
nothing  curious  to  see  there;  only  old, 
tumble-down  temples,  and  ruined  statues, 
and  I  am  in  a  hurry  to  reach  Constanti- 
nople. The  two  transports  of  tourists  are 
following  us. 

I  leave  my  cabin  and  go  up  to  the  bridge. 
Water  everywhere!  Immensity!  I  must 
collect  my  thoughts ! 

The  assertion  that  the  Mediterranean  is 
blue  is  false;  it  is  like  other  seas,  a  dirty 
green. 

October  2^.  We  arrive  within  sight  of 
Asia — eternally  Minor,  and  under  the 
guardianship  of  Europe.  The  captain 
points  out  to  me  in  the  distance,  what  the 
Turks  call  in  their  picturesque  language, 
the  Dabar-Kader. 

Mr.  Cook  informs  me  that  we  are  in  the 
Golden  Horn;  the  sea  is  quiet;  upon  it  the 
boats  are  floating  ^4ike  matches  without 
gulf  or  Bosphorus"  said  he  wittily. 

There  is  nothing  curious  about  the  Dar- 

[24] 


IN  THE  ARMS  OF  UMBERTO 


The  All  Highest 


dandles.  I  do  not  understand  why  Occi- 
dental diplomacy  is  so  interested  concern- 
ing them. 

Regarded  from  a  distance,  the  city  of 
Constantinople  presents  the  very  interesting 
aspect  of  a  vegetable  garden.  The  roofs 
are  strangely  shaped ;  there  are  round,  ob- 
long, bulbous,  egg-shaped,  pyriform  and 
pointed  ones.  All  that  is  practical  in  order 
to  catch  the  rain  water;  it  also  appears  that 
it  rains  more  rarely  in  these  warm  countries 
than  elsewhere;  everything  is  explained! 

Constantinople!  Every  one  leaves  the 
vessel.  A  small  boat  carries  me  to  land.  I 
look  well  in  my  uniform  of  a  Lieutenant  of 
an  Andorra  vessel.  I  leap  lightly  to  the 
dock. 

A  personage  comes  to  me. 

"His  Majesty  William  II  perhaps?'' 

"The  same.  To  whom  have  I  the 
honor ?" 

"I  am  the  Sultan  here,  Abdul-Hamid." 

"Ah!   Exactly!" 

And  with  this  dialogue  our  intimacy 
began. 

The  Sultan  is  a  man  of  middle  age  and 

[27] 


The  All  Highest 


greatly  resembles  Naquet,  the  father  of 
divorce.  He  is  not  handsome,  but  he  ap- 
pears very  gentle  and  very  much  of  a  good 
fellow. 

Besides,  it  seems  that  he  is  greatly  loved 
at  the  palace  yonder.  Only  as  a  matter  of 
precaution  he  goes  out  but  little,  lives  very 
much  shut  up. 

The  Sultan  was  dressed  in  an  ordinary 
frock-coat,  ordinary  trousers  and  wore  a 
fez;  around  his  collar  was  a  cravat  of  the 
Commander  of  the  Faithful.  You  can 
hardly  imagine  the  simplicity  of  the  man. 
He  said  to  me: 

^'My  dear  William,  this  is  without  cere- 
mony; make  yourself  at  home;  we  have 
done  nothing  special  for  you;  now  if  you 
like  they  will  show  you  to  your  room." 

^Thanks." 

They  conducted  me  to  a  palace  prepared 
for  my  reception.  I  have  never  seen  any- 
thing so  repulsive ;  that  is  to  say,  the  Spanish 
inns  are  the  acme  of  comfort  compared  with 
what  they  offered  me.  The  sheets  had  not 
been  changed  for  six  months;  spiders  had 
Britanically  spun  their  webs  in  the  corners 

[28] 


EW  OF  CONSTANTINOPLE 

Original  Sketch  by  the  Emperor) 


L 


The  All  Highest 


of  the  room;  large  patches  of  plaster  had 
fallen  from  the  ceiling  and  the  floor  yielded 
in  places. 

Certainly  I  am  accustomed  to  the  rude 
life  of  the  camps.  How  many  times  in  my 
Berlin  palace  has  it  happened  that  I  have 
slept  fully  dressed  in  my  bed.  I  am  not 
effeminate,  but  truly  I  recoil  in  the  face  of 
the  horror  of  these  lodgings. 

The  Sultan  asked  me: 

"Well,  what  do  you  think  of  it?  Do  I 
spoil  you?" 

"Yes,  it  is  too  beautiful  for  me!" 

"No  matter,  I  give  you  the  best,  I  am  not 
stingy." 

"My  modesty  obliges  me  to  refuse.  I 
will  sleep  at  the  embassy;  I  prefer  it." 

"As  you  like." 

At  the  embassy  they  arranged  to  give  me 
a  room;  it  is  not  luxurious  but  it  is  clean. 
I  change  my  clothes,  and  it  is  in  the  cos- 
tume of  a  Captain  of  Mounted  Divers  that 
I  witness  the  naval  review  ordered  in  my 
honor. 

The  iron-clads  of  the  Turkish  navy  are  in 
an  excellent  state  of  preservation.    Profiting 

[31] 


The  All  Highest 


by  the  example  of  European  fleets,  the 
Sultan  does  not  risk  his  outside  of  the  har- 
bor, with  the  result  that  he  has  no  occasion 
to  dread  the  accidents  which  so  often  trans- 
form the  iron-clads  into  submarines.  Be- 
sides, this  Turk  has  a  don't-care-a-damn 
nonchalance  quite  Oriental  which  greatly 
aids  him  in  the  accomplishment  of  the  deli- 
cate task  of  Sovereign. 

And  yet  he  is  sufficiently  practical ;  rather 
than  keep  his  men-of-war  idle,  he  utilizes 
them  for  popular  emergencies.  Thus  he 
has  transformed  the  iron-clad  Dreadful  into 
floating  baths  at  the  bottom  of  the  sea,  and 
during  the  hot  weather  he  realises  a  hand- 
some income  from  it.  The  first-class  moni- 
tor Catastrophe  is  a  public  laundry  boat 
where  in  consideration  of  a  small  fee  the 
women  of  the  city  may  wash  their  soiled 
linen  en  famille.  The  Terrifier,  the  only 
vessel  that  has  a  steam  engine,  furnishes 
the  electric  light  for  the  palace.  The  big 
iron-clad,  Ravage  has  been  divided  into  a 
casino-jetty  promenade  where  travelling 
troops  give  operettas,  and  the  regular  fre- 

[32] 


; 


The  All  Highest 


quenters  play  baccara.  As  for  the  torpedo- 
boats,  they  rent  them  by  the  day  to  those  of 
the  leisured  class  who  wish  to  take  a  sail. 

This  review  of  the  Turkish  fleet  inter- 
ested me  greatly;  there  is  much  to  be 
learned  from  their  novel  ideas.  It  was  the 
Sultan  himself  who  informed  me,  when  I 
inquired  as  to  the  other  iron-clad,  the  Mas- 
sacre, that  he  had  turned  it  over  to  the  Sal- 
vation Army. 

The  dinner  was  not  remarkable.  I  fore- 
see that  I  shall  have  trouble  with  the  food 
during  my  entire  journey.  I  was  placed 
beside  my  host;  that  man  has  no  gift  for 
conversation;  he  knows  nothing  of  war 
matters;  he  is  not  interested  in  military 
questions;  under  such  conditions  the  con- 
versation languished  fearfully.  What  can 
one  do  for  the  night? 

Midnight.  The  Sultan  had  reserved  for 
me  an  agreeable  surprise.  The  last  mouth- 
ful at  dinner  swallowed,  he  said  to  me: 

^^Guess  what  we  are  going  to  do,  Wil- 
liam?" 

[33] 


The  All  Highest 


^^Set  off  fire-works,  I  hazard." 

^^No." 

^^Some  music,  then,  perhaps?" 

^^No." 

"A  lively  show?" 

^'Wrong  again.  They  say  you  are  a  great 
hunter?" 

^^Decidedly,  yes." 

^^Very  well,  w^e  are  going  to  shoot  some 
Armenians  from  ambush.  There  are  but 
few  left  and  I  have  reserved  them  for  you. 
You  know  it's  great  sport,  very  amusing. 
We  wait  until  the  beaters-up  have  made  the 
game  rise,  and  as  soon  as  it  attempts  to 
escape  we  fire." 

I  have  hunted  a  little  everywhere.  I 
have  killed  a  little  of  every^thing  but  I  was 
still  ignorant  of  the  Armenian  hunt  which 
is  the  favorite  sport  of  the  country.  Abdul 
and  I  placed  ourselves  in  ambush  in  the 
look-out.  The  guards  released  about  a 
hundred  head  of  Armenians  and  drove  them 
in  our  direction.  At  the  end  of  an  hour  we 
ceased  firing. 

On  the  field  there  were: 

[34] 


FHE   QUARRY 

fTJniform  of  a  Corporal  of  Tyrolian  Hunters) 


The  All  Highest 


25  old  men 
40  men 
14  women 
21  minors 


Total    100 

They  arranged  the  quarry  by  the  light  of 
the  torches;  it  was  very  picturesque.  It 
appears  that  this  game  becomes  more  and 
more  rare;  that  is  what  the  Sultan  confided 
to  me  with  the  bitterness  of  an  old  hunter 
who  sees  his  favourite  beast  disappear.  I 
had  dressed  myself  for  the  occasion  in 
the  costume  of  a  Brigadier  of  Tyrolian 
Hunters. 

At  supper  Abdul  and  I  talked  with 
greater  familiarity.  We  discussed  diverse 
questions  of  internal  politics,  then  we 
"talked  shop."  I  maintained  that  the  best 
way  to  make  one  beloved  by  a  people  is  to 
amuse  them  with  military  parades,  reviews, 
military  exercises  and  military  music.  The 
Sultan  does  not  share  my  opinion.  He  finds 
the  best  way  to  make  himself  respected  and 
cherished  is  never  to  show  himself.    "I  live 

[37  1 


The  All  Highest 


in  my  kiosque,  not  through  timidity,  but 
because  I  do  not  care  for  society.  I  have 
simple  tastes.  And  then  there  is  an  Arab 
proverb  which  says  'T>o  not  allow  them  to 
eat  out  of  thine  hand  or  they  will  eat  the 
hand! ''  And  he  disclosed  to  me  the  con- 
siderable role  played  by  hemp  and  poison- 
ous substances  in  the  Ottoman  Dynasty. 

I  have  already  found  that  the  work  of  an 
Emperor  is  not  so  joyful  that  one  should 
complicate  it  with  suspicion;  one  might  as 
well  resign  at  once. 

At  dessert,  rendered  a  little  lively  by  the 
repast  taken  at  my  hotel,  I  inquired,  '^Could 
one  see  the  ladies?"  He  replied  that  they 
had  retired,  and  promised  to  show  them  to 
me  the  next  day.  This  was  unfortunate  as 
I  felt  in  an  amiable  mood. 

I  write  these  notes  and  go  to  bed. 

October  24.  As  I  awakened,  the  Sultan 
sent  me  the  brevet  of  Corporal  of  Turkish 
Infantry.  By  chance,  I  had  brought  the 
costume;  I  put  it  on;  Abdul  informs  me 
that  they  are  going  to  have  a  review  in  my 

[38] 


ESCORT  OF  HONOR 


The  All  Highest 


honour.    At  last  I  shall  have  some  distrac- 
tion. 

4  o'clock.  I  return;  the  review  did  not 
satisfy  me;  the  men  manoeuvred  like  fire- 
men. 

They  began  by  presenting  me  to  the 
Generals  of  the  Turkish  army,  Schleif- 
mann-Pasha,  Von  der  Wurst-Pasha,  Hans 
Brauwer-Effendi,  Sidi-Kobus-Bey,  Tou- 
meh-Pasha,  etc.  They  speak  the  German 
language  quite  purely  and  without  accent. 

Then  the  march  began ;  I  noticed  at  first 
that  the  uniform  of  each  regiment  was  not 
uniform;  thus  certain  ones  in  the  same  com- 
pany have  European  pantaloons,  others 
Turkish  pantaloons,  others  none  at  all.  I 
admit  that  it  is  fantastic  but  hardly  fitting 
in  such  degree. 

Same  variety  of  head-dress;  the  one  who 
prefers  a  helmet  puts  on  a  helmet,  the  one 
who  likes  a  fez  wears  a  fez;  there  are  even 
those  who  wear  bicycle-caps  which  is  surely 
not  according  to  the  ordinance. 

The  armament  is  but  slightly  more  homo- 
geneous; every  model  of  gun  is  found  in  the 

[41] 


The  All  Highest 


hands  of  Ottoman  soldiers.  I  asked  the 
Sultan  if  this  was  premeditated  in  order  to 
have,  in  case  of  war,  different  sorts  of  ex- 
periences; he  replied  that  the  state  of  his 
finances  did  not  permit  of  his  having  an- 
other armament.  From  the  moment  it  ap- 
peared to  be  unpremeditated  it  was  no 
longer  of  interest  to  me. 

The  troops  gave  evidence  of  great  indi- 
vidual initiative  as  each  soldier  marched  at 
a  pace  which  suited  him;  it  resulted  in  a 
slight  disorder  in  the  parade.  I  shall 
characterize  in  a  phrase  the  Turkish  army; 
it  lacks  organization.  Abdul-Hamid  as- 
sured me  that  that  was  for  the  best.  ^'I  have 
also,"  added  he,  ^^excellent  means  for  mak- 
ing the  men  fight  well;  I  never  pay  them. 
They  have  to  conquer  forcibly." 

This  confidence  opens  the  horizon  to  me. 
Perhaps  the  Sultan  is  finally  right.  ^^If  one 
has  the  strength  of  a  lion  to  defend  one's 
property,  one  has  that  of  a  tiger  to  take  the 
property  of  others!"  as  says  the  proverb, 
which  I  am  pleased  to  believe  to  be 
Persian. 

This  evening,  private  dinner  at  the  Ildiz- 

[42] 


**nrxn  ,,»» 


A   LITTLE   "PORK"  ON  THE  SIDE 


The  All  Highest 


Kiosk.  We  are  again  going  to  eat  their  vile 
preserves  a  la  rose;  I  am  sick  at  the  stomach 
in  advance. 

Midnight.     Ah!  Ah! I  return  from 

but  let  us  not  anticipate. 


We  dined.    Naquet I  mean,  Abdul- 

Hamid  has  the  slovenly  habit  of  having 
each  dish  tasted  by  his  officers.  In  answer 
to  my  inquiry,  he  informed  me  that  he  took 
this  precaution  in  order  not  to  be  poisoned. 
Such  things  cut  the  appetite  as  with  a  razor. 
When  I  return  to  the  embassy  I  will  have 
them  serve  me  a  supper. 

At  dessert,  as  we  were  in  a  sprightly 
humour,  Abdul  said  to  me: 

''Come,  admit  it!" 

''What?" 

"Confess  that  you  are  burning  with 
curiosity!" 

"Curiosity  for  what?" 

"To  see  my  harem,  by  Mahomet!" 

I  had  an  austere  youth;  rarely  was  it 
permitted  me  to  see  the  creatures  whose  sole 
mission  it  is  to  bring  a  little  happiness  to 
men  in  exchange  for  worldly  goods.     Mo- 

[45] 


The  All  Highest 


nogamy  seems  to  me  to  be  very  much  out 
of  date  and  I  regret  not  being  able  to  sub- 
stitute for  it  a  well  regulated  polygamy; 
furthermore  nearly  all  superior  men  are 
polygamous; — at  least  clandestinely. 

The  ofter  of  the  Sultan  made  my  mouth 
water.  It  did  not  appear  to  me  incompat- 
ible with  my  Divine  Mission  that  I  should 
go  to  admire  the  works  of  the  Most  High  in 
that  in  which  they  are  most  perfect.  I 
responded. 

''Show  me  the  way  and  I  am  yours!" 

"No;  the  ladies  must  first  be  warned." 

''On  the  contrary  let  us  surprise  them." 

"I  will  not  do  that." 

I  requested  a  few  moments  to  change 
my  costume,  and  I  dressed  myself  as  a 
Lieutenant-Colonel  of  Eunuchs  of  His 
Majestv^;  nevertheless  I  retained  my  mous- 
taches. 

After  many  turnings  in  the  seraglio  (as 
I  had  not  been  brought  up  there  I  did  not 
know  the  turns)  we  stopped  in  front  of  a 
little  door  guarded  by  black  eunuchs;  the 
black  eunuchs  are  distinguished  from  the 

[46] 


THE  SLEEP  OF  THE  VIRGIN 


I 


The  All  Highest 


white  eunuchs  only  by  the  colour  of  their 
skin.    They  allowed  us  to  pass. 

Abdul,  who  preceded  me,  opened  the 
door,  and  I  heard  the  women's  voices  cry- 
ing, "Oh!  Oh!  Here  is  the  Master!" 

"Silence  within!  I  have  some  one  with 
me!" 

When  I  entered  in  my  turn,  the  women 
exclaimed  to  one  another: 

"Look!  A  new  one!" 

"He  has  a  good  face!" 

"Come  on,  we  won't  eat  you !" 

I  was  greatly  embarrassed ;  to  my  natural 
awkwardness  was  added  an  awkwardness 
intensified  still  more  by  my  ignorance  of  the 
place  where  I  found  myself. 

The  room  was  square,  furnished  with  a 
divan  which  extended  the  length  of  the 
walls;  above  the  divan  was  a  profusion  of 
mirrors.  Upon  the  cushions  sat  a  number 
of  women  very  lightly  clothed ;  every  coun- 
try was  represented;  I  even  noticed  a  ne- 
gress,— how  refined  these  Orientals  are! 

They  invited  me  to  be  seated  upon  the 
divan  and  they  presented  me  successively  to 
all  the  women;  there  are  three  hundred  of 

[49] 


The  All  Hicrhest 


them,  not  one  less.  Of  course  there  are 
plain  ones  as  well  as  handsome  ones ;  but  the 
beauties  are  in  the  majority.  The  women 
grow  stout  very  quickly,  for  they  take  but 
little  exercise.  Nevertheless  I  do  not  dislike 
that. 

Their  names  are  very  elegant  and  very 
poetic,  Flora,  Carmen,  Mascotte,  Julia, 
Sonia,  Camelia,  Lelia,  etc.,  etc.  The  names 
of  birds  are  also  frequently  met.  Mesange, 
Famette,  and  the  names  of  iiowers,  Violette, 
Reseda.  It  is  an  old  Oriental  custom  to  so 
christen  every  now  pensioner. 

The  introductions  finished,  I  judged  it 
proper  to  order  a  few  bottles  of  wine  to 
regale  these  amiable  persons;  on  their  part 
they  stuffed  my  pockets  with  mild  cigarettes 
and  sugar  cakes. 

Then  upon  the  order  of  the  Master,  many 
of  the  women  began  to  dance  a  national 
dance,  very  curious  and  voluptuous;  mean- 
while, other  women  sang  characteristic 
songs.  They  call  it  the  danse  Ju  ventre. 
Decidedly  one  learns  in  travelling. 

In  the  long  run  the  spectacle  acts  upon 
the  nervous  system.     I  was  in   a  state  of 

[50] 


The  All  Highest 


comatose  happiness,  when  one  of  the  women 
who  had  not  danced  approached  me.  .  .  . 


Here  the  recital  of  the  Emperor  is  in- 
terrupted; there  is  about  a  half  page  where 
the  writing  has  been  carefully  scratched 
out;  there  can  be  distinguished  here  and 
there  a  few  words,  such  as  ^^happiness/^  ^^de- 
lightful/^  ^^ chandelier/'  ^^ present — but  it  is 
impossible  to  make  out  to  what  these  words 
relate  and  how  they  should  be  put  together. 
The  experts  we  have  consulted  do  not  agree. 
There  is  reason  to  believe  that  the  guest  of 
the  Sultan  feared  he  would  lose  his  note 
book  filled  with  too  precise  recollections. 
We  shall  not  try  to  open  a  Judas  in  the  wall 
of  his  private  life.  The  recital  of  the-  Em- 
peror continues  on  another  page. 


[511 


The  All  Highest 


October  2^.  In  order  to  express  my 
thanks  to  my  amiable  companion  I  have 
sent  him  the  brevet  and  insignia  of  Captain 
of  Pomeranian  Grenadiers.  My  word,  but 
these  little  presents  maintain  friendship;  I 
do  not  regret  what  I  have  done.  I  am  en- 
tirely satisfied  with  my  evening;  this  morn- 
ing I  awakened  somewhat  fagged,  but  it 
will  soon  pass. 

Abdul  Hamid  insists  that  I  visit  his 
capitol.  (It  is  the  turn  of  the  proprietor) 
I  cannot  escape;  they  are  all  the  same,  they 
must  show  me  their  monuments.  I  have  as 
many  at  their  services,  at  home. 

Here  the  mosques  are  plentiful ;  they  are 
very  tiresome.  Before  entering,  one  must 
remove  one's  shoes  and  go  in  barefoot.  My 
host  very  kindly  offered  to  help  me  remove 
mine;  I  visited  then  St.  Sophia,  shoeless. 
Islamism  is  a  religion  of  vagabonds.  They 
took  me  everywhere,  then  they  authorised 
me  to  put  on  my  shoes  and  leave. 

There  were  other  curiosities;  I  should 
have  preferred  to  return  to  the  harem,  but 

[52] 


AT  THE  DOOR  OF  SAINT-SOPHIA 


! 


i 


The  All  Highest 


Abdul  Hamid  would  not  listen  to  it.    I  did 
not  insist. 

October  26.  It  is  ended;  I  must  leave. 
My  Divine  Mission  demands  it.  I  am  the 
Messiah  who  comes  to  renew  the  chain  of 
mystic  traditions.  It  is  a  question  of  being 
serious.  I  decided  to  resume  my  route 
toward  Jerusalem.  Besides  Mr.  Cook  is 
becoming  impatient.  At  the  moment  of 
leaving,  Abdul-Hamid  loaded  me  with 
presents;  he  gave  me  things  of  which  the 
commercial  value  is  almost  nothing,  but  the 
historic  value  is  unrivalled: 

A  hair  from  the  Prophet's  beard 
A  stone  from  the  great  mosque  of  Mecca 
A  bone  from  Mahomet's  horse 
A  pair  of  slippers 
A  pair  of  fez 

A  worn-out  marghile  which  came  from 
his  Uncle 

A  dozen  seals  of  Mammam 
A  sabre  of  the  National  guard 
The  Osman  cross 
Some  nugat 

[55] 


The  All  Highest 


Finally,  just  as  I  was  about  to  embark,  he 
presented  me  with  a  little  harbour  on  the 
side.  I  thanked  him  profusely.  He  in- 
quired: 

^^\re  you  satisfied  with  your  sojourn  at 
the  Porte?" 

^^I  could  not  be  more  so." 

"You  have  not  been  bored?" 

"Not  for  a  moment." 

"Then  you  will  return?" 

"Have  no  fear  about  that!  The  next 
time  I  will  come  without  being  invited!" 

This  promise  did  not  seem  to  give  him 
enormous  pleasure.  I  kissed  the  Sultan  and 
went  on  board  my  vessel.    En  route ! 

The  same  evening  I  went  ashore  at 
Kaiffa.    Attention! 

October  2J,  The  reception  at  Kaiffa  has 
been  most  cordial;  there  are  not  many 
people  in  this  country.  I  took  a  carriage; 
we  left  for  Cesara.  At  night  we  slept  in 
the  open  air,  under  the  star,  which  guided 
the  Wise  Men  of  the  East. 

It  is  interesting  but  the  farther  I  pro- 

[56] 


AU  REVOIR,   SULTAN,   I  SHALL   RETURN   WITHOUT  BEING   INVITED 


i 


i 


The  All  Highest 


ceed,  the  more  the  object  of  this  journey 
seems  vague. 

October  28.  From  Cesara  to  Jafifa. 
Continually  by  carriage.  Few  people  out 
to  see  us  pass.  This  evening  as  I  noticed 
signs  of  demoralization  in  my  troop  I  or- 
ganised a  dramatic  entertainment.  They 
gave  charades  in  the  open  air,  and  I  gave  a 
lecture,  not  without  some  success.  Subject, 
Would  the  Messiah  have  succeeded  more 
quickly  if  he  had  had  an  army  with  him? 

October  2g.  From  Jafifa  to  Latrun.  We 
draw  near.  The  trip  was  made  on  horse- 
back. I  prefer  that.  The  scenery  varies 
but  little;  however  I  thought  of  all  the  im- 
portant things  that  had  happened  in  this 
region;  I  gather  up  my  confused  recollec- 
tions. I  am  in  the  country  of  Sacred  His- 
tory; it  lacks  comfort.  I  understand  why 
the  Jews  are  not  in  a  hurry  to  restore  Jeru- 
salem. The  country  is  worth  nothing. 
But  when  one  is  a  Sovereign,  one  must  have 
seen  the  Holy  Land,  the  cradle  of  our 
bankers. 

[59] 


The  All  Highest 


To-morrow  I  shall  enter  Zion.  Mr.  Cook  * 
assures  me  that  everything  is  prepared;  he 
has  looked  after  the.  preparations  himself. 
I  handed  him  a  military  march  that  I  com- 
posed on  the  way;  it  is  very  original;  I 
found  the  principal  theme  between  Kaiffa 
and  Jaffa.  I  desire  that  the  march  be  exe- 
cuted with  music  as  I  enter  the  City. 

Mr.  Cook  tried  it  immediately  upon  his 
travelling  accordion;  he  finds  that  it  strik- 
ingly recalls  the  great  composers,  the 
Wagner  of  Parsifal,  the  Mendelssohn  of 
Songe,  the  Gounod  of  Faust,  the  Meyerbeer 
of  the  Prophet,  and  even  the  Strauss  of  the 
Blue  Danube.  Upon  my  word,  that  Eng- 
lishman has  good  taste. 

I  awakened  during  the  night;  I  went  to 
one  of  the  wells ;  I  did  not  meet  a  Samaritan 
woman.  It  was  a  pity.  I  returned  to  the 
tent  and  began  a  composition  which  repre- 
sents Lohengrin  going  to  receive  Ma- 
homet's kiss.  I  can  say  positively  that  I  have 
never  composed  anything  finer. 

I  do  not  pride  myself  on  being  a  uni- 
versal man;  but  I  find  that  a  Sovereign 
should  be  skilful  with  his  hands.     Louis 

[60] 


LOHENGRIN  RECEIVING  MAHOMET'S  KISS 


The  All  Highest 


XVI  was  only  a  locksmith,  and  it  was  that 
which  made  him  lose.  As  for  me,  I  em- 
brace everything! 

Nevertheless  it  is  a  great  pity  that  I  did 
not  meet  a  Samaritan  woman.  Mr.  Cook 
should  have  looked  out  for  it! 

October  30.  Midnight.  I  return  broken 
with  fatigue.  What  a  never-to-be-forgotten 
day! 

We  arrived  at  Jerusalem  toward  three 
o'clock.  I  immediately  dismounted  from 
my  horse  and  ordered  an  ass.  I  wished  to 
make  my  entrance  like  Him! 

I  might  have  put  on  a  white  tunic,  but 
my  journey  would  have  lost  all  significa- 
tion ;  it  was  with  a  helmet  on  my  head  that 
I  entered  the  City  of  Judea! 

The  procession  was  organised;  I  first,  all 
alone,  at  the  head,  then  the  music,  then  Mr. 
Cook;  then  my  retinue,  then  the  tourists. 

As  we  proceeded,  they  waved  great 
palms  and  threw  flowers  at  us.  At  first  the 
donkey  refused  to  advance;  that  animal  was 
not  aware  of  the  role  he  was  playing;  he 
tried  to  escape  from  the  honour  of  carrying 

[63] 


The  All  Highest 


me.  Fortunately  I  am  a  good  horseman; 
when  we  reached  the  Jaffa  gate,  the  music 
started  up,  and  the  frightened  animal  took 
the  bit  in  his  teeth;  my  entrance  almost 
miscarried. 

What  my  pride  as  a  scene-setter  suffered 
during  the  few  minutes  of  the  gallop  of 
that  ass  no  one  will  ever  know.  I  finally 
mastered  the  ass  which  in  the  end  became 
accustomed  to  the  sound  of  the  big  drum;  I 
listened  to  my  music,  really  it  is  not  bad;  it 
is  music  with  melody,  and  not  the  satanic 
modern  music,  learned  and  wearisome.  We 
started  to  march,  the  ass  missed  the  step. 

The  ceremony  was  so  imposing  that  an 
astonished  child  shouted,  ^^Hoorah!  here  is 
a  circus!"  This  naive  exhibition  of  admira- 
tion went  straight  to  my  heart. 

We  advanced  slowly,  banners  waving, 
under  the  sun.  I  was  very  warm.  The 
shouts  did  not  cease;  evidently,  other  than 
the  Agency  tourists,  there  were  not  many 
present;  Jerusalem  is  not  a  very  populous 
city.  Notwithstanding  one  meets  so  few 
Israelites,  anti-semiticism  is,  so  to  speak,  un- 

[64] 


THE  SERMON   IN  THE  DESERT 

(Uniform  of  an  Officiating  Minister) 


The  All  Highest 


known.  The  best  society  of  the  city  re- 
ceived me  with  enthusiasm. 

In  the  midst  of  the  ceremony,  I  dis- 
mounted, as  the  ass  announced  his  intention 
of  rolling  on  the  ground;  and  I  felt  that  no 
consideration,  political  or  religious,  would 
prevent  him.    I  preferred  to  get  ofif. 

I  proceeded  to  the  Sepulchre;  it  is  the 
classic  itinerary.  They  greatly  exaggerate 
the  importance  of  these  places.  Neverthe- 
less a  Sovereign  who  visits  a  tomb  produces 
a  great  impression.  I  returned,  with  music 
leading,  to  the  house  they  had  procured  for 
me;  in  the  evening  illuminations.  The  in- 
stallation is  defective;  the  fare  is  mediocre, 
feeble  even.  At  heart,  I  begin  to  regret  my 
home.    What  did  I  come  here  to  do? 

October  31.  I  announced  a  trip  to  Beth- 
lehem to  be  followed  by  a  sermon  in  my 
own  style.  I  do  not  know  but  that  this  was 
a  mistake  as  no  one  followed  me. 

It  is  from  Bethlehem  that  the  custom 
came  of  placing  shoes  in  the  chimney 
Christmas  eve;  it  must  be  a  curious  custom 

[67] 


The  All  Highest 


as  there  are  no  chimneys  and  no  shoes  to 
speak  of. 

I  asked  to  see  the  famous  stable;  they 
showed  it  to  me,  or  rather  the  first  one  at 
hand.  For  want  of  preservation  the  verit- 
able stable  has  disappeared.  Always  the 
lack  of  organisation. 

Upon  my  return  I  was  entirely  alone.  I 
had  prepared  an  allocution  w^hich  greatly 
appealed  to  me.  I  w^as  reduced  to  deliver- 
ing it  in  the  desert.  Bah!  I  am  not  the 
first  one  to  whom  that  has  happened.  I 
delivered  the  sermon  on  the  plain, 

I  have  a  fine  talent  for  speaking.  I  not 
only  strike  my  hearers,  I  move  them. 

And  I  had  the  pleasure  of  converting  my- 
self after  having  moved  myself  to  tears. 
That  conversion  does  me  honour. 

I  wore  for  the  occasion  the  frock-coat  of 
an  officiating  minister. 

The  heat  is  overpowering. 

November  I.  I  have  consecrated  a 
temple;  the  architecture  I  designed  myself; 
for  I  am  an  architect;  I  said  to  the  people 
here,  ^'Destroy  the  temple  and  I  will  re- 

[68] 


*  THE  COLD  BATH  IN  THE  JORDAN 

(Uniform  of  a  Corporal  of  Divers) 


J 


The  All  Highest 


build  it  for  you  in  three  days!"  They  be- 
lieved that  I  spoke  figuratively.  I  am  rather 
clever  in  the  architect's  art;  furthermore 
one  does  not  have  to  be  a  magician;  one  has 
only  to  draw  the  lines.  If  I  had  the  time 
and  money  I  would  pass  my  time  in 
building. 

The  heat  is  unbearable;  upon  my  word. 
I  could  stand  it  no  longer;  I  decided  to 
take  a  bath  in  the  Jordan.     I  was  in  the 

costume  of no,  in  fact,  I  wore  a  simple 

pair  of  bathing  drawers.  I  entered  the 
Jordan,  swimming.  I  did  not  go  as  far  as 
the  Dead  Sea;  enough  of  sad  things!  The 
inhabitants  are  decidedly  stupid!  They 
have  a  sea  and  they  allow  it  to  die! 

The  bath  set  me  up  a  little!  I  tried  to 
walk  on  the  water;  it  is  very  difficult;  I 
haven't  the  secret,  I  must  try  it  in  the 
Winter  in  Berlin,  when  it  freezes;  I  shall 
think  the  matter  over. 

At  Jericho,  Mr.  Cook  had  arranged  an 
"incident"  which  will,  I  hope,  produce  a 
lively  impression.  As  I  was  proceeding  to 
my  camp,  I  was  accosted  in  the  public  place 
by  a  cripple,  wrapped  in  unclean  linen, 

[71] 


The  All  Highest 


^^Charity,  my  Prince!" 

^^I  have  no  money,"  I  replied. 

^^I  am  sick." 

^^Ah!  I  have  a  little  medical  knowledge; 
I  will  cure  you.  From  what  do  you 
suffer?" 

^^I  have  leprosy!" 

I  made  a  motion  to  step  back.  Fortu- 
nately Mr.  Cook  nudged  me;  I  understood. 

^^Man,  what  dost  thou  desire?" 

^^Only  touch  my  sores  and  I  shall  be 
healed." 

^^It  shall  be  done  according  to  thy 
desire." 

I  touched  his  sores.  The  man  arose,  and 
standing,  appeared  perfectly  healthy.  I 
cured  in  the  same  manner  a  legless  man 
sitting  in  a  bowl  and  a  one-armed  person. 

The  tourists  were  astonished. 

Starting  from  this  moment,  I  was  as- 
sailed by  a  crowd  of  sick  people,  not  ar- 
ranged for  by  Mr.  Cook,  who  wanted  me 
to  touch  their  sores.    I  made  my  escape. 

The  repasts  are  not  substantial!  I  would 
like  to  shorten  my  journey.  I  have  seen 
enough! 

[72] 


RESURRECTION  OF  THE  LEPER 

(Uniform  of  a  Surgeon  of  the  Salvation  Army) 


The  All  Highest 


Mr.  Cook,  to  whom  I  said  a  word  upon 
the  subject  is  opposed;  according  to  our 
contract,  I  shall  not  be  free  until  November 
i6  at  Alexandria!  Until  then  I  am  his 
property.  He  reports  to  me  that  the  tourists 
are  enchanted  and  that  they  would  become 
furious  if  I  should  refuse  to  keep  my  en- 
gagements. He  showed  me  a  poster  he  had 
printed. 


In  a  short  time 
Emperor  William  II 
Will  accomplish 
The  Ascension 


"And  how?" 

"In  a  balloon;  it  is  in  the  baggage;  they 
are  going  to  fill  it  at  once." 

"I  will  not  lend  myself  to  that!" 

"Come!  Come!  Is  not  Your  Majesty  an 
aeronaut?" 

Mr.  Cook  knows  how  to  touch  me  on 
my  weak  point.  After  all,  why  should  I 
not  be  an  aeronaut?  Quo  non  ascendam? 
— To  what  heights  can  I  not  mount? 

[75] 


The  All  Highest 


November  2,  All  through  Jericho  we 
passed  these  posters. 

To  Day 

The  New  Messiah 

Will  effect  an  Ascension 

In  the  Balloon 

^^The  Never  to  be  Forgotten  Grandfather'^ 

Departure  at  3  o'clock  sharp 

Since  the  accident  happened  to  the  ram- 
parts which  fell  because  they  played  the 
trumpet  sideways,  military  music  has  been 
forbidden  in  the  suburbs  and  in  the  city! 
Mr.  Cook  was  obliged  to  impose  silence  on 
his  fanfare. 

At  three  o'clock  precisely  I  climbed  into 
the  car  of  the  balloon.    Let  go! 

I  rose  majestically  in  the  midst  of  accla- 
mations. At  sunset  the  Never  to  be  Forgot- 
ten Grandfather  deposited  me  in  the  out- 
skirts of  Jerusalem.  I  know  now  the  move- 
ments of  a  balloon;  O  Natar!  It  is  as  sim- 
ple as  happiness. 

November  J.  It  is  a  fortnight  since  I 
started.     I  have  had  no  news  from  home. 

[76] 


» 


n 


i^^iiiia£jifil&afe-> 


THE  ASCENSION 


The  All  Highest 


What  is  happening  there?  I  begin  to  be 
anxious.  This  evening  I  shall  have  a  de- 
cisive interview  with  Mr.  Cook. 

In  order  to  begin  the  day  I  proceeded  to 
the  Monastery  of  Marsabat. 

A  Monastery  is  a  sort  of  barracks  for 
Monks. 

The  Monks  of  Marsabat  exercise  the 
same  functions  as  other  monks  in  other 
countries ;  they  do  nothing  except  pray  from 
morning  until  night;  they  have  different 
prayers  for  each  hour  of  the  day. 

They  are  well  built  men;  they  would 
make  a  fine  regiment;  I  passed  them  in 
review. 

I  dressed  myselt  for  the  ceremony  in  the 
habit  of  the  Superior  of  Carmelites. 

They  manoeuvred  in  front  of  me;  I 
asked  them  to  sing  the  Hymn  to  Aegir: 
they  acquitted  themselves  well.  Then  they 
marched  off;  I  took  luncheon  at  their  table. 
It  is  an  error  to  boast  of  the  ordinary  monas- 
tic fare;  they  only  had  vegetables  cooked 
in  water. 

At  dessert  I  made  a  speech  and  explained 
to  the  monks  how  they  ought  to  serve  the 

[79] 


The  All  Highest 


Lord.  I  have  my  own  ideas  upon  the  sub- 
ject of  religion.  I  next  sketched  in  bold 
strokes  my  Divine  Mission.  They  listened 
to  me  in  perfect  silence. 

When  I  finished,  the  Superior  advised  me 
to  renounce  the  world  and  devote  myself 
to  preaching.  Why  not?  My  predecessor 
Charles  the  Fifth  entered  into  orders 
toward  the  end  of  his  life.  I  promised  the 
Superior  to  return  in  forty  years.  Until 
then ! 

As  I  regained  my  general  quarters  I  met 
the  reporters.  These  pests  are  everywhere; 
they  hang  to  my  skirts  all  the  time,  and  I 
cannot  take  a  hundred  steps  without  being 
photographed  or  cinematographed  in  every 
position.  Yet  if  they  would  only  write  the 
exact  story!  But  they  are  as  malevolent  as 
pleasure.  I  would  like  to  teach  them  their 
business. 

For  I  am  somewhat  of  a  journalist;  as 
The  Cologne  Gazette  needed  a  corre- 
spondent in  Palestine,  I  made  a  secret  con- 
tract with  the  Directory,  and  every  evening 
I  send  a  detailed  letter  concerning  my 
doings  and  movements  for  the  day. 

[80] 


REVIEW  OF  A   MONASTERY 

(Uniform  of  a  Carmelite  Superior) 


The  All  Highest 


^^The  Emperor  was  received  in  Jericho 
amid  acclamations  of  an  enthusiastic  crowd, 
etcr 

Sometimes  I  criticise  myself  a  little — 
respectfully,  of  course,  and,  strange  as  it 
may  seem,  I  keep  account  of  my  observa- 
tions. 

The  heat  is  terrible;  they  could  cook 
here  with  but  little  fire;  I  cannot  stand  it. 

I  demanded  the  presence  of  Mr.  Cook, 
and  I  said  to  him  : 

"Sir,  and  dear  Barnum,  I  have  a  serious 
communication  to  make  to  you." 

"A  change  in  the  itinerary,  I'll  wrger?" 

"Just  so!" 

"You  wish  to  stay  longer  in  Egypt?" 

"On  the  contrary,  I  wish  to  return,  I 
have  seen  enough." 

"But  our  contract?" 

"Listen,  this  is  not  living;  for  two  weeks 
we  have  trotted  over  by-ways  and  roads ;  we 
have  tried  every  means  of  locomotion ;  rail- 
road, gondola,  Hohenzollern,  skiff,  car- 
riages, camels,  ass,  balloon,  horseback,  pal- 
anquin!   My  teeth  are  on  edge." 

[83] 


The  All  Highest 


^^Very  possible,  but  I  have  paid  you  the 
price  agreed  upon;  you  will  go  to  the  end." 

^^It  is  beyond  my  strength,  Mr.  Cook. 
Think  of  it,  a  Sovereign  cannot  perform 
such  v^ork.  Monsieur  Felix  Faure  himself 
could  not  do  it." 

'^Come,  come!  He  went  to  Russia." 

*^He  returned  in  a  week;  I  have  the 
record  myself;  I  have  stood  it  a  fortnight. 
My  Divine  Mission  is  accomplished  so  far 
as  the  Orient  is  concerned." 

^^And  our  tourists?  They  will  demand 
their  money  back." 

^^No,  we  will  find  a  pretext;  I  shall  not 
shout  aloud  that  I  suffer  from  the  heat  and 
that  I  am  bored.  My  prestige  would  de- 
cline. I  will  give  a  diplomatic  reason;  fur- 
thermore, Egypt  is  not  very  interesting. 
Yes.  I  know,  the  pyramids,  forty  centuries, 
the  Sphinx,  the  Suez  Canal!  There  are  too 
many  English  here." 

^^Since  Your  Majesty  requests  it,  we  will 
return.    But  we  shall  have  litigation." 

^That's  an  idea!  I  have  never  tried  the 
legal  profession." 

^^To-morrow,  en  route/^ 

[84] 


THESE  PESTS,  REPORTERS   AND  PHOTOGRAPHERS,   ARE   EVERYWHERE 


The  All  Highest 


November  4.     We  started. 

JSfovember  d.  On  board  the  HohenzoU 
lern.    I  recapitulate  my  journey. 

It  has  not  been  a  journey  for  study,  since 
I  have  seen  nothing  interesting  or  worth 
the  trouble  of  changing  one's  habits. 

It  was  not  undertaken  as  a  favour  to  any 
one. 

What  was  the  object  of  my  travelling  to 
the  Orient? 

The  chancelleries  are  in  a  flutter;  they 
suppose  there  are  secret  treaties,  ententes,  a 
struggle  for  influence;  they  edit  the  com- 
munications, they  make  a  great  display  of 
systems,  they  foresee  new  politics.  My 
return  is  the  subject  of  anxious  commen- 
taries; and  as  always,  it  suffices  for  me  to 
give  the  real  reason  in  order  that  they  dis- 
regard it. 

It  is  of  no  consequence;  I  shall  always 
remember  the  evening  in  the  harem,  yonder. 
That  only  prevents  me  from  regretting  my 
journey. 

A  few  days  later.  Here  I  am,  rein- 
stalled; nothing  unpleasant  has  happened 

[87] 


The  All  Highest 


during  my  absence;  everything  goes  mar- 
vellously well. 

And,  at  heart,  I  cannot  help  being 
troubled:  was  it  not  a  mistake  to  demon- 
strate to  my  people  by  an  absence  of  three 
weeks,  that  I  am  not  indispensable  to  the 
happiness  of  my  subjects  and  to  the  opera- 
tion of  public  affairs? 

And  worse  still,  I  find  a  letter  from  the 
Sultan  who  announces  his  visit  for  next 
year! 

Oh!  No,  not  if  I  know  it! 

The  travel  notes  of  the  Emperor  of  Ger- 
many stop  here,  William  II  has  not  even 
added  The  Flight  into  Egypt. 


[88] 


AS  IT  WAS  VERY  HEAVY,  THEY  TOOK  TURNS  IN  CARRYING  IT/' 

Flaubert,  Herodias. 


\; 


^  A  r\ 


"^^ 


^\^ 


THE  ENTRANCE  INTO  JERUSALEM 


354-40 


•f 


r^' 


I 


....^ai^' 


